Hospital Clinics And Visits

The last few weeks have been of the hectic variety, with one common dominator to the weeks being hectic, various and many visits to hospitals.

It seems over the past few weeks, I would have been cut out as an employee aye even a role model for the Scottish Ambulance service, and not only that I could probably hold down a job at the information desks in at least four of Scotland's biggest Hospitals, with a bit more focus on customer care than currently exists!

The reasons for all of this activity are spread across the generations of the family, with conditions that  range from the minor, blood tests and the like, right through to pops in the spinal unit, fighting to recover from a broken neck and three back breaks!

Now those that know me, will understand the dread that sweeps throughout my body, as soon as the words hospital and appointment are combined in one sentence, as I was once diagnosed as having white coat syndrome, so it is pretty ironic that the last three weeks, has had me travelling East, West, North and South to spend time in my least favourite of life's necessary establishments.
The wee one has been with me on most of my travels and from being in the car to going onto various hospital wards and departments she has been excellent, not only in terms of behaviour but also in the way she has interacted with those around her.

This interaction is applied with the same enthusiasm, no matter if it is other wee ones caught up in the whole patient transporter/ visitor thing with their family, or simply the hospital regulars like the patients, doctors and nurses. The wee one goes from play mode, to sympathetic, concerned listener mode and ready to travel mode as easy as changing channels on your sky box.
So being on tour with the wee one has no major behavioural or entertainment issues, no she is an excellent travel companion, a companion that helps to cheer up the slightly depressing places that are Hospital wards and clinics.

No the problem is our routine has been smashed into several hundred pieces, okay a slight exaggeration, but you get the drift.
The wee one has had a very settled routine when it comes to her daily and weekly activities, whether that be at play, tea or even the simple thing of bath and bed time.

So over the last few weeks my travel companion has had to endure some of the finest junk food this country has to offer and believe me there is plenty!! Now not only that her bed time has been varied, which without a shadow of doubt she is enjoying just a little bit more than me or the law enforcer aka grannie for that matter. The other wee problem with the bed routine is that I have spent all winter telling the wee one that the dark means bedtime, who would know she would use this against me as soon as this summer, gleefully pointing out that it is still light outside and the conclusion is therefore simple....it can't be bed time because you said......
The wee ones brother aka my grandson aka hurricane Billy normally claps and gets himself wound up to a force five or six when he hears the microwave ping and it must be in the genes because the wee one now claps and cheers when she spots a fast food sign!!

In fairness the wee ones mum aka master chef is learning her way around her new cooker but that has yet to receive the same reaction as the microwave as far as hurricane Billy is concerned.
Like her brother aka hurricane Billy with the cooker, the wee one is in for more than one or two disappointments over the coming weeks, firstly the hospital appointments are coming to an end, at least for the majority, thus meaning an end to our various road trips, which in turn will mean an end to the junk food banquets and a return to home cooked meals.

Lastly if not finally, granddad will come up with some cunning cons that signal bedtime is upon us, no matter how dark or light it is!
Aye it is all routine when it comes to granddad!!
AND FINALLY
The law Enforcer aka the wife and the wee one have been involved in a spot of garden fixing along with myself and the ASBO gardener aka papa, well when I say along with the ASBO gardener I really mean going behind him and sorting out his projects into something worth looking at, the wee one I am delighted to say has not taken after her papa aka the ASBO gardener and in fact she has shown a wee flair when it comes to mixing the different coloured plants to make an eye catching display. However the credit does not sit with the law enforcer aka the wife or indeed me as granddad, no according to the ASBO gardener aka papa the time she spends with him has paid dividends.... aye of how not to do it!!!!!!!!

Growth, Recession And Blood Money!

Over the last few years I have never been in the position where I would question the price of... well pretty much anything really.
If I needed something or for that matter did not need it but merely wanted it I would buy it, the same applied when it came to items for the kids, and as for the law enforcer aka the chief prosecutor aka the wife, she has a wardrobe that could be used in evidence against her.

The household bills were on the same level and no thought was ever given to the amount that would make up the phone bill for example. The weekly shop and the weekly throwing out of un eaten food was just par for the course. The word recession was only ever in use when the news was on and they were talking about double dips and treble dips, however this was happening somewhere else to someone else and had little or nothing to do with my household.

Over the past few months since Christmas that scenario has completely changed, and for the first time it feels like the newsman is talking directly to me when he uses the word recession!!

SAVE THE PENNIES!

Now I was not in denial, but I had considered, that we perhaps had over done things at Christmas, and January to March were simply consequences of this and nothing to do with any recession!! So what has alerted me that my household is no longer recession proof and in fact was feeling its full bite.

You might think being a stay at home granddad, that there would be a number of warning signs that would have alerted me that my household was becoming a statistic, you know the first simple signs, like the weekly shopping was starting to cost a few quid more to put less into the cupboards, or perhaps that the monthly bills were starting to need a little creative accountancy, in order to meet payments, or even more simple than that, I was no longer buying items regardless of need or not.
No none of these warning signs caused even the slightest ripple in my pond.

The first indication that lit the fuse for me was the wee one, no she didn't start questioning the gas bill or start debating the pros and cons of public spending, she simply took yet another growth spurt, meaning all of her clothes bar none, had instantly become too small, the result was a whole new wardrobe was required and add to that summer is on us...allegedly.. and the problems mount, as not only does she need everyday clothes, but shorts and tee shirts are a must.

This is not the first time this year that this has happened and of course clothes for wee ones are not too cheap, in fact my clothes are cheaper, and it begs the question how can this be, They need at least ten times the material to cover me than they need for the wee one, of course as adults the only growth spurts wee take are usually around the middle so there is less chance of us repeat buying!!!

 

This time around I decided that I would shop around for the wee ones clothes, pretty much in the same manner that I am now having to do, when it comes to the households food shop, every penny is now becoming a prisoner as I tighten the collective household belts.

Living close by to the city comes into its own when you want to mix and match your shopping, and further, because they know they have competition it tends to focus their minds more sharply on the price. However as I found there are one or two discount chains that are almost giving the goods away, leaving you to wonder how the hell they make any money at all!

So by using the discount chains mixed and matched with my usual stores, I successfully replenished the wee ones wardrobe and saved a fair bit of money in the process. I was very pleased with myself as I loaded up the boot and headed home with what I could only class as boot load of bargains.
I was sure the law enforcer aka the wife would be suitably impressed by my prudency, and indeed the wee one loves getting new clothes almost as much as getting a new toy to play with, the journey home would be filled with thoughts of self congratulations, followed up by praise and excitement when I got home.

Sadly before I got even half way home, my bargains were being called blood buys put together in sweatshops in the so called third world, the woman on the radio was clearly talking about the shops I had just come from, I was now more than just an interested listener. There had been a disaster in a far off country, in a factory that made cheap clothes for our high street, many people had died in horror conditions, all because our retailers were driving the prices down to the point that they were paying but a few pence for the products.

Not only does that whole situation leave a very unpleasant taste in the mouth, it leaves me and most likely many parents with a real dilemma, how do we afford to clothe the wee ones that we look after, when our budgets are being squeezed into oblivion.

But before we have to answer and solve that particular dilemma, and there are solutions to it such as the use of charity shops, surely the shop chains should say no to the blood markets and maybe have a look at their overall pricing policy, where jeans for an adult should not be cheaper than jeans for a wee one.
The result would be that we could all shop for a reasonable price, with a clear conscience as each growth spurt takes place!!

The Pecking Order

The wee one has got a radar like ability when it comes to me taking off for the day, she puts on the charm offensive and will do everything she is told to do first time.

This seems to be done in an effort to get me to change my mind and stay at home and normally starts long before I am due to leave and it makes you wonder, what are the give away signs that the wee one can clearly pick up on.
We must give off some sort of signal that we are about to leave them behind, there must be something that we do subconsciously before going away from them for a given period of time, be it a few hours or a whole day.

Today I was on driving duty for my mum whose partner aka pops is in the spinal unit in Glasgow after a horrendous fall at his work, a stressful day for all concerned as his recovery is extremely slow and painful, perhaps the stress of the day that was going to be, was the signal the wee picked up on, that question will probably remain as unanswered, as the question of are we alone in the universe?!!

So granddad gone for the day, and to the wee one conformation that her intuition has again proved to be spot on! The next question on the wee ones mind would naturally be, who's in charge?

The wee one works out the pecking order in a flash, then takes full advantage out of the person left in charge to get her own way, on aye everything from a cheeky wee slice of cake right through to what will be played with, normally the messier the better.

 

Today the ASBO gardener aka papa was left in charge for the first hour or so, I know the ASBO gardener aka papa in charge of anything, other than the remote control for the telly, has the ability to turn a normal day into a triumph of disaster.
The wee one like most wee ones is skilled in the art of sussing out the weaknesses of those in charge, or at least supposedly in charge of her!! And plays this out like the skilled operator she is.

The law enforcer aka the chief prosecutor aka the wife arrived home to find that the wee one had manipulated the ASBO gardener aka papa out to the garden and had him cutting wood into kindlers, a job she had seen me start the day before, sadly running out of time as darkness closed in, now normally the ASBO gardener would need no invitation to get out to the garden, but when it comes to a job that actually tidies up an area...well enough said!

So why would the wee one want him cutting wood, simple really, as she knows the ASBO gardener will want her to play at a safe distance from the action, a distance that he can see her but cant quite make out what it is she is actually doing!
The dog had also been invited out to the garden by a very considerate wee one, after all the dog would be all alone in the house when there was company outside he could enjoy.
The dog would willingly join the wee one as he has long since worked out she is a decent source when it comes to getting tasty morsels of food and like most dogs he treats the wee one as one of his pack and takes his role of watching out for her very seriously.

The law enforcer aka the wife had arrived back as I said to find them all in the garden, however what she could see that the ASBO gardener aka papa could not, was a dog that was under going the fashionable treatment of having a mud pack applied, using the as yet untried formula of compost and play sand!!!Note if this becomes popular the wee one claims copyrights!!
In all the wee ones calculations and manipulations, she did not factor in the early arrival home of the law enforcer aka grannie!!!

The law enforcer aka grannie was not slow in returning law and order to the house, putting a swift end to the wee ones grand plans for the day, however it was not the end of the spa session for the dog or the wee one for that matter.

The dog enjoyed a shampoo and set, while the wee one enjoyed a bath followed by pyjamas...aye the joys of play!!

On arriving home the wee one met me like a long lost hero, a hero that had returned to save her day. Sadly for the wee one on this occasion all her hopes were dashed, as I too am pretty perceptive when it comes to judging the mood of the house, but more than that I know my place in the pecking order!!
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The Fringe Festival

Today we had our serving of humble pie with my good friend aka the bump, and a coffee that was not grudged and no chocking was done.
It was good to see the bump and indeed we had plenty of catching up to do, so the coffee and humble pie were long finished before she took her leave and headed homewards.

The bump has always been good with advise and is brilliant with wee ones, sometimes I think she has missed her vocation in life, as she is the type of person that you would want involved in setting the standards for our wee ones pre-schooling.

The wee one would agree as the bump made time to play during our coffee, then did art work during the eating of humble pie and still found time to start a band, with the wee one as guitarist and the bump as the backing drummer, the wee one also insisted on the role as lead singer, now not only that the wee one had the bump juggling as well as drumming, me I was on the phone to the Edinburgh Fringe booking their gig dates!!

The wee one and the bump finished their play with a portrait drawing of granddad, now I do art every week with the wee one, and have not had the success my friend aka the bump had during our coffee morning. The wee one produced her first picture that you could say definitively what it was, no argument it was brilliant!!
So back on the phone to the fringe...

Seriously it was an excellent morning and backed up everything I said yesterday about the importance of friends and staying in touch.
The morning had went by in a flash, and it was soon lunchtime, yet my friend aka the bump still had time just to listen to my moans, and indeed doled out some excellent advice, backed up with life experience, something you can't buy no matter how good the book!!!

The wee one spent the rest of the afternoon, long after her drummer aka the bump had gone home, practicing on the guitar and tuning her vocal chords, all hail the inventors of headache tablets!!

AND FINALLY...
My afternoon was spent in the mad world of the ASBO gardener aka papa and one of his plans for the garden, I found myself actually helping him achieve some of his finest and most cunning plans without realising precisely what he was up to or indeed what I was doing until near the end of the said project!!
So the garden centre is now to be visited and a well known DIY retailer where a few pounds of the savings and the law enforcers aka the chief prosecutors aka the wife's hard earned cash will be prized from my wallet for items that I will try and pass off as bargains, but in fact if I had not got involved with ASBO gardener aka papas little plan, we would not have needed in the first place!!!

So at the end of this calendar day, the wee one is a happy and content having had an excellent days entertainment started off by my friend aka the bump, the ASBO gardener aka papa is snoozing contently no doubt dreaming of how he got one over me, the law enforcer aka the wife is frowning about the cost of the bargains to come for the garden, and me?

Well I have had a roller coaster day, the morning was excellent and even the humble pie was tasty, the pharmacy companies helped with the headache that was band practice, a state of shock then took over as I realised I had been involved in one of the ASBO gardeners aka papas schemes, and the evening well lets put it like this, If snoring was a fringe event then I would be booking my slot beside the wee one and the juggling bump!!

Never Assume- Make That Phone call!

So today a good friend aka the bump, pulled me up for their lack of a phone call invite to the BBQ , the BBQ that had everything bar the guests. Ah the dangers of telling your story!

Now for my sins she was quite right, I had not phoned her, as I pointed out rather sheepishly, that she is never in. That's it there folks, a mistake, and a common mistake at that, one we all make, we assume situations, and they become our reality, to us they are facts. So not for the first time this month I have been served a large piece of humble pie!

Another Big Helping!!!!

How often do we assume our friends are leading busy lives, too busy to disturb, and how often do we excuse ourselves from making the effort to stay in touch? A question that would flit in and out of my head for the rest of the day.

During my life, from being a wee one right through to my current status as a granddad, I have met a lot of good people that I class as friends.
I am not talking about the guy in the local pub or a work mate, as they are what it says on the tin, people you happen to know, or put another way acquaintances. That is not to say they are not good people and that you don't enjoy their company.
No what I am talking about, are the people you would choose to go to the pub with, or someone from work that you look forward to seeing in your home or theirs, that would be a friend, a deliberate act of making time for someone, and not just circumstances putting you in the same place as someone.

The sad truth is we all have friends out there that we communicate with less than daily, aye even a Christmas card in some cases is our conscience cleanser, for friends we have not forgotten about, but we have clearly lost touch with, in the day to day battle that is life. They are too busy, I am too busy, I will give them a call tomorrow, next week and so goes the vicious circle that the vast majority of us get involved in!

Then of course you have the added wee bit of spice, that not all your friends get on with each other, quite often the only common factor some of them have is you, In fact it is not unusual for  your friends to know nothing about your other friends, and further they probably are not too interested as they to, have a circle of friends outside you.

This friendship thing is complicated!! Well no its not, it is really very simple, your friends are a very  important part of your life, just as important as family, unless of course you are on a desert island by choice.

You should take time in your life to stay in touch with your friends after all it should be a pleasure not a chore.

So instead of assuming, I intend to put some effort in over the coming weeks and months, I will be phoning, emailing, face booking and aye even using the oldest method of all, meeting up with friends to find out how life is and what their news is!

As for my friend aka the bump, well she likes a wee party, and indeed as I should have remembered from last summer enjoys the odd BBQ, so when I meet my friend aka the bump for a coffee-one I hope not to choke on- with my slice of humble pie, I will make sure a date is set for a wee get together when the bump is gone and hopefully a new friend is born!