Home Education- For Grandad!!

This week we got the letter, the letter that says the wee one is growing up, the letter that says life is about to change, and for a wee while each day the house will be a sadder and quieter place.
Aye the wee one got her call up papers, it is her time to join the establishment and start her journey in the school system. Nursery although not exactly regimented like school, is that first step on the learning and social ladder, the wee one could not be more excited and this granddad could not be more forlorn!!

The call up papers were quickly followed by a letter from the Doctors instructing me to make an appointment for the wee one to receive her booster immunisations, well aware of the importance of theses small jabs, I booked the appointment and took the wee one to the surgery, explaining to her that this was to allow her to go to school and it would only nip a little. The law enforcer aka the wife chummed us along to the appointment with more than an air of confidence that we might just need her......I mean what could she know that a wise old granddad did not? Fast forward to the end of the appointment and I am not sure who was more traumatised the wee one, me or the nurse!! The only one left with any air of calmness was...aye you guessed it the law enforcer!!

The two events of the week had me thinking about what was coming next, as my Nana used to say all things come in threes, in the name of the gods what could possibly come next!!!
All of this got me looking to the past, and what the future might throw at me next, and if there were lessons aplenty from my first time round, lessons that I could draw on over the future months. I thought for a few minutes, then several hours and indeed all-night, no answers jumped forward, bar one.....aye the law enforcer aka the wife like the sweeties smarties had the answers.
As it turns out although I consider that I was a dotting dad and that I worked hard for the family, my hard work often took me away for weeks aye months at a time earning the money that would help bring the family up. However as we all know money can not buy you the gift of time, time spent with your wee ones, experiencing the highs and lows of their lives and the impact that they have on all around them!

Aye so there was the third bit of news in the wee ones life, there was the back up, the proof that one of Nanas sayings was spot again, things do come in threes, firstly the call up papers, followed by the booster jags quickly followed by the revelation, that wise old granddad was back at school as well, learning this whole parenting thing from a different angle....aye the home front, The front line of parenting, where a phone call and a sympathetic ear from afar had given me no advantage this time round when dealing with the problems and scenarios face to face.
So the fact I listened to the law enforcer aka the wife and sympathised with her the day she dropped off our first born at the school for the first time and the fact I said what a shame it was when she explained about the doctors visit that had went badly,had given me very little, aye no understanding of the situations what so ever, as it only had the impact of conversation, not a visual memory with full volume!!

So as the wee one goes to the establishment and starts her journey, granddad is off to night school, luckily no travel is required because the classes are at home and the teacher is the law enforcer aka the wife, I can only hope it is not like school the first time round. All of this backs up yet another of my Nanas beliefs and another one of her sayings, Nana believed in education from the cradle to the grave and always said even an old fool can learn something new to be foolish about!

The Holiday At Home

When the weather is as good as this, your thoughts tend to work on ideas that will keep you at home and entertained without the hassle of going to parks and venues, you know what I mean, most households have a BBQ of some form, a paddling pool and garden games for the kids...aye okay for us.
We have all become experts in setting up the mini carnival in the garden as away to save hassle and lets be honest the fact that it saves money is not just an added bonus anymore.
The wee one loves all the hustle and bustle of a busy park with other wee ones on the go, however she is just as happy with the home made version and a playmate be it her brother, a wee friend or the ASBO gardener.
The Law enforcer aka the wife likes to potter around the garden, enjoys a BBQ and has been known to participate in a water fight or two, obviously one that has strict rules that everyone must sign up to first!
The athlete aka my son has also been seen participating in and around the garden with the paddling pool always proving too much of a temptation for the wee one that is still inside him that wants to still play with toys and be a wee boy again, that said all men have this chip built in to their brains somewhere as it is the only explanation when it comes to gadgets!
The ASBO gardener has travelled to most parts of the world at sometime or another and is happy to stay close to home, that way he does not have to worry how much bail money is required in different currencies, and not only that his passport photo can stay the secret it is!
Me....well I am the stay at home Grandad after all!!
So with everything against it I found myself looking at the Holiday adverts in the Sunday paper magazines, I found myself wishing I was there, I could imagine the sea, the sand, the exotic foods, the laid back approach to the day, with activities galore around every corner.
I could almost smell the baking and cooking going on at a wee market where everything including someone's granny was for sale at discount prices that would make the man with the van blush, you know the guy that sells everything but no receipts given!!!
Wow and all for a mere couple of pence under two thousand pounds, ah someone brought out the smelling salts, two thousand of them.
Now tell me honestly what do you get out of that two thousand pounds, lets look at it, you get a two week holiday for four in a four star hotel, you get to see a part of the world you have never seen before, you maybe try a new activity such as water skiing , you perhaps eat something you have never tasted before, you get to relax beside a pool with a waiter or waitress bringing you drinks of your choice and the weather is wall to wall sunshine pretty much guaranteed.
As a bonus to the above you also get to pack a bag with more clothes than you need, you get to drive to an airport of your choice as long as it is Manchester, an hour into your journey you remember the passports are on top of the flight tickets which sadly are on your coffee table. The airport has had a security scare so the queues are just long enough to let you out of your car in a car park that costs as much as the car and gives you the final message you will see outside in Britain, no responsibility can be........for that price I would expect my car to be valeted on my return. You have now driven for four hours, queued for four hours and have just been informed you have a four hour delay due to unforeseen problems, and the wee one has stared to play with the barriers asking are we there yet, you yourself now have a blood pressure that is at stroke level....aye happy days and we so need this holiday!
Made it,you arrive in the country of your choice, its raining but not to worry it can not last according to your taxi driver after all it has rained for three days solid and that never happens here!!
The Hotel will save the day or at least it would have if the builders had managed to finish it on time, never mind you are here and you are on holiday!!! Sadly the pool is one of the items not yet finished and the waiters will not walk to the beach which is five miles from your hotel not five metres!!!!
Ah yes the holiday abroad, a necessity of all who aspire to be better off, for all those who long for the good life!
Me I think I will stick to being poor, put on a holiday programme, ooo and ahh at the wonderful scenery, sit outside in the sun with a wee tipple in the knowledge that my car is safe in the driveway, the wee one and the big one can play in the pool and the two thousand pounds will pay for several treats when the weather is bad and the family is bored or more commonly known as the winter months!!!

A Busy Garden Spells Trouble

That's it finally, at long last, aye not before time summer is here!!! Aye, I know this because the paddling pool has been dragged out of the shed and filled up with freezing water, water that is meant to provide hours of fun to anyone that can take the plunge, and stay in it for more than ten seconds!
So the garden now turns into a playground and outside party venue, for as long as the sun allows. This is a note of joy to all, but with the wee one in particular as she would play outside from dawn till dusk!
Further evidence that summer has arrived as if the pool being filled was not enough comes in the form of the daily phone call from The Master chef aka the daughter, checking to see if she missed any calls asking her over for any BBQ that might take place.....well she has to eat something now and again that does not go ping!
The eighteen year old aka the athlete aka my son is walking about with skin the colour of a well ripe tomato, as he is too mean to buy sun screen and had been using the wee ones sun block before going to work thinking that would see him alright!!
The law enforcer aka the wife has dared to look out her knee length shorts and she is even risking the odd t-shirt, of course on day one she got third degree burns, as the skin had not seen sunlight in that quantity since....aye last time she got third degree burns!!
Aye summer has arrived!!
Sadly not everyone is just as happy as the rest of us about the sun parking outside all day, aye the ASBO gardener aka papa, he knows as long as there is sunshine on the go, the garden has sun worshippers in it, this in turn restricts his wee projects, as the chances of getting caught are off the scale to a man that is used to working in a stealth like manner sprinkled with magic dust of cunning!
So you would think all must be well in the household, as everyone laps up the sun, some more than others and the ASBO gardener aka papa is restricted to doing the wee jobs you would expect to see done in any garden, like cutting the grass and tending the plants.
Aye you guessed it the ASBO gardener aka papa likes a project and with the garden restricted he has turned his eye onto my wee jobs, the jobs that are outstanding around the house, you know the jobs, every house has a list of jobs that the law enforcer aka the wife has instructed should be done and in that situation there is a man who has acknowledged that the job needs done and has agreed to get right on it.......sometime in the future when he gets time!!
The range of these jobs are not normally too taxing on the DIY skills, lets be honest if they were the law enforcer aka the wife would not have given me them to do in the first place if they were, however when you have no DIY skills to speak of they become projects....cue the ASBO gardener aka papa a man built with that word in mind, add to the fact he is bored because the garden is too crowded for him and therefore at a loose end, well you get the picture!!
So the plotting is taking place at his secret hide out..... the garden shed, and disasters will be forth coming if the sun stays with us. Leaving me with only one solution, do the jobs quickly and efficiently pleasing the law enforcer aka the wife and removing all temptation from the ASBO gardener to interfere!!
ERRRR No..... more like phone the daughter invite her over, mix some drinks, put the BBQ on and have a ten second paddle in the pool after all summer only lasts so long and I need the law enforcer to realise just how useful I am after all!!!!!