Home Education- For Grandad!!

This week we got the letter, the letter that says the wee one is growing up, the letter that says life is about to change, and for a wee while each day the house will be a sadder and quieter place.
Aye the wee one got her call up papers, it is her time to join the establishment and start her journey in the school system. Nursery although not exactly regimented like school, is that first step on the learning and social ladder, the wee one could not be more excited and this granddad could not be more forlorn!!

The call up papers were quickly followed by a letter from the Doctors instructing me to make an appointment for the wee one to receive her booster immunisations, well aware of the importance of theses small jabs, I booked the appointment and took the wee one to the surgery, explaining to her that this was to allow her to go to school and it would only nip a little. The law enforcer aka the wife chummed us along to the appointment with more than an air of confidence that we might just need her......I mean what could she know that a wise old granddad did not? Fast forward to the end of the appointment and I am not sure who was more traumatised the wee one, me or the nurse!! The only one left with any air of calmness was...aye you guessed it the law enforcer!!

The two events of the week had me thinking about what was coming next, as my Nana used to say all things come in threes, in the name of the gods what could possibly come next!!!
All of this got me looking to the past, and what the future might throw at me next, and if there were lessons aplenty from my first time round, lessons that I could draw on over the future months. I thought for a few minutes, then several hours and indeed all-night, no answers jumped forward, bar one.....aye the law enforcer aka the wife like the sweeties smarties had the answers.
As it turns out although I consider that I was a dotting dad and that I worked hard for the family, my hard work often took me away for weeks aye months at a time earning the money that would help bring the family up. However as we all know money can not buy you the gift of time, time spent with your wee ones, experiencing the highs and lows of their lives and the impact that they have on all around them!

Aye so there was the third bit of news in the wee ones life, there was the back up, the proof that one of Nanas sayings was spot again, things do come in threes, firstly the call up papers, followed by the booster jags quickly followed by the revelation, that wise old granddad was back at school as well, learning this whole parenting thing from a different angle....aye the home front, The front line of parenting, where a phone call and a sympathetic ear from afar had given me no advantage this time round when dealing with the problems and scenarios face to face.
So the fact I listened to the law enforcer aka the wife and sympathised with her the day she dropped off our first born at the school for the first time and the fact I said what a shame it was when she explained about the doctors visit that had went badly,had given me very little, aye no understanding of the situations what so ever, as it only had the impact of conversation, not a visual memory with full volume!!

So as the wee one goes to the establishment and starts her journey, granddad is off to night school, luckily no travel is required because the classes are at home and the teacher is the law enforcer aka the wife, I can only hope it is not like school the first time round. All of this backs up yet another of my Nanas beliefs and another one of her sayings, Nana believed in education from the cradle to the grave and always said even an old fool can learn something new to be foolish about!

The Holiday At Home

When the weather is as good as this, your thoughts tend to work on ideas that will keep you at home and entertained without the hassle of going to parks and venues, you know what I mean, most households have a BBQ of some form, a paddling pool and garden games for the kids...aye okay for us.
We have all become experts in setting up the mini carnival in the garden as away to save hassle and lets be honest the fact that it saves money is not just an added bonus anymore.
The wee one loves all the hustle and bustle of a busy park with other wee ones on the go, however she is just as happy with the home made version and a playmate be it her brother, a wee friend or the ASBO gardener.
The Law enforcer aka the wife likes to potter around the garden, enjoys a BBQ and has been known to participate in a water fight or two, obviously one that has strict rules that everyone must sign up to first!
The athlete aka my son has also been seen participating in and around the garden with the paddling pool always proving too much of a temptation for the wee one that is still inside him that wants to still play with toys and be a wee boy again, that said all men have this chip built in to their brains somewhere as it is the only explanation when it comes to gadgets!
The ASBO gardener has travelled to most parts of the world at sometime or another and is happy to stay close to home, that way he does not have to worry how much bail money is required in different currencies, and not only that his passport photo can stay the secret it is!
Me....well I am the stay at home Grandad after all!!
So with everything against it I found myself looking at the Holiday adverts in the Sunday paper magazines, I found myself wishing I was there, I could imagine the sea, the sand, the exotic foods, the laid back approach to the day, with activities galore around every corner.
I could almost smell the baking and cooking going on at a wee market where everything including someone's granny was for sale at discount prices that would make the man with the van blush, you know the guy that sells everything but no receipts given!!!
Wow and all for a mere couple of pence under two thousand pounds, ah someone brought out the smelling salts, two thousand of them.
Now tell me honestly what do you get out of that two thousand pounds, lets look at it, you get a two week holiday for four in a four star hotel, you get to see a part of the world you have never seen before, you maybe try a new activity such as water skiing , you perhaps eat something you have never tasted before, you get to relax beside a pool with a waiter or waitress bringing you drinks of your choice and the weather is wall to wall sunshine pretty much guaranteed.
As a bonus to the above you also get to pack a bag with more clothes than you need, you get to drive to an airport of your choice as long as it is Manchester, an hour into your journey you remember the passports are on top of the flight tickets which sadly are on your coffee table. The airport has had a security scare so the queues are just long enough to let you out of your car in a car park that costs as much as the car and gives you the final message you will see outside in Britain, no responsibility can be........for that price I would expect my car to be valeted on my return. You have now driven for four hours, queued for four hours and have just been informed you have a four hour delay due to unforeseen problems, and the wee one has stared to play with the barriers asking are we there yet, you yourself now have a blood pressure that is at stroke level....aye happy days and we so need this holiday!
Made it,you arrive in the country of your choice, its raining but not to worry it can not last according to your taxi driver after all it has rained for three days solid and that never happens here!!
The Hotel will save the day or at least it would have if the builders had managed to finish it on time, never mind you are here and you are on holiday!!! Sadly the pool is one of the items not yet finished and the waiters will not walk to the beach which is five miles from your hotel not five metres!!!!
Ah yes the holiday abroad, a necessity of all who aspire to be better off, for all those who long for the good life!
Me I think I will stick to being poor, put on a holiday programme, ooo and ahh at the wonderful scenery, sit outside in the sun with a wee tipple in the knowledge that my car is safe in the driveway, the wee one and the big one can play in the pool and the two thousand pounds will pay for several treats when the weather is bad and the family is bored or more commonly known as the winter months!!!

A Busy Garden Spells Trouble

That's it finally, at long last, aye not before time summer is here!!! Aye, I know this because the paddling pool has been dragged out of the shed and filled up with freezing water, water that is meant to provide hours of fun to anyone that can take the plunge, and stay in it for more than ten seconds!
So the garden now turns into a playground and outside party venue, for as long as the sun allows. This is a note of joy to all, but with the wee one in particular as she would play outside from dawn till dusk!
Further evidence that summer has arrived as if the pool being filled was not enough comes in the form of the daily phone call from The Master chef aka the daughter, checking to see if she missed any calls asking her over for any BBQ that might take place.....well she has to eat something now and again that does not go ping!
The eighteen year old aka the athlete aka my son is walking about with skin the colour of a well ripe tomato, as he is too mean to buy sun screen and had been using the wee ones sun block before going to work thinking that would see him alright!!
The law enforcer aka the wife has dared to look out her knee length shorts and she is even risking the odd t-shirt, of course on day one she got third degree burns, as the skin had not seen sunlight in that quantity since....aye last time she got third degree burns!!
Aye summer has arrived!!
Sadly not everyone is just as happy as the rest of us about the sun parking outside all day, aye the ASBO gardener aka papa, he knows as long as there is sunshine on the go, the garden has sun worshippers in it, this in turn restricts his wee projects, as the chances of getting caught are off the scale to a man that is used to working in a stealth like manner sprinkled with magic dust of cunning!
So you would think all must be well in the household, as everyone laps up the sun, some more than others and the ASBO gardener aka papa is restricted to doing the wee jobs you would expect to see done in any garden, like cutting the grass and tending the plants.
Aye you guessed it the ASBO gardener aka papa likes a project and with the garden restricted he has turned his eye onto my wee jobs, the jobs that are outstanding around the house, you know the jobs, every house has a list of jobs that the law enforcer aka the wife has instructed should be done and in that situation there is a man who has acknowledged that the job needs done and has agreed to get right on it.......sometime in the future when he gets time!!
The range of these jobs are not normally too taxing on the DIY skills, lets be honest if they were the law enforcer aka the wife would not have given me them to do in the first place if they were, however when you have no DIY skills to speak of they become projects....cue the ASBO gardener aka papa a man built with that word in mind, add to the fact he is bored because the garden is too crowded for him and therefore at a loose end, well you get the picture!!
So the plotting is taking place at his secret hide out..... the garden shed, and disasters will be forth coming if the sun stays with us. Leaving me with only one solution, do the jobs quickly and efficiently pleasing the law enforcer aka the wife and removing all temptation from the ASBO gardener to interfere!!
ERRRR No..... more like phone the daughter invite her over, mix some drinks, put the BBQ on and have a ten second paddle in the pool after all summer only lasts so long and I need the law enforcer to realise just how useful I am after all!!!!!

Whats He Up To?

Thanks for all the emails asking that A Grandads View From Home continues, so back by demand we will post at least once a week to keep you up to date. Once again thanks for such a strong show of support for Grandad!!!!!!

So
Over the last few weeks as the weather has improved, I have been bracing myself for a flurry of activity from the ASBO gardener aka papas direction! Now it is either stealth, a cunning plan or a new strategy but nothing appears to be happening.
Over the last few weeks he has taken to going for walks, aye hikes, that take him away for a couple of hours, this is good for his health and is viewed positively in not suspiciously, as he leaves the house dressed link one of the characters from Last Of The Summer Wine, including props that could be seen on that programme like binoculars and telescopes!!!!
You might think I should be overjoyed and if not at least a little relieved that perhaps a new hobby had been found, and his health was also gaining some benefit from his new activities and yes I would be if my gut reaction was not warning me something was and is afoot.
The wee one and her oldest playmate aka papa have been out in the garden most days when he is not away on one of his hikes, tending to my flower beds, weeding, feeding and watering them with a due diligence that would make any gardener proud. The garden is neat and tidy no problem there then, the first green shoots and stalks of plants have appeared and are establishing themselves, again all good there as well then, so what is my gut telling me, should I just not enjoy the fact all is looking- excuse the pun- rosy in the garden and maybe just maybe the ASBO gardener aka papa is behaving himself for a change......aye right!

The investigation would have to take place as answers are required because the ASBO gardener aka papa not being up to something has my blood pressure setting at the same level as when he is up to his neck in it....stroke setting!
Like anything to do with the ASBO gardener aka papa if you go looking you will find trouble, mostly it is not what you are expecting to find but trouble none the less.
However not looking on this occasion was not an option, as I said all was too quiet, too normal. It did not take too long to find out what was going on, that night in fact as close inspection of what the wee one was being given to water the flower beds with, aye it was plant food alright, but this food was not for the colourful blooms I have been expectantly waiting for, oh no this was for Vegetables indoor and out!
So the ASBO gardener aka papa has been enjoying his hikes and bird spotting in the full knowledge his cunning plan in the garden was growing below my very nose, knowing that I had been watching him all along carry out his plan without the slightest clue that he had indeed planted the flower beds with onions, tatties and the like, not only that he had involved the wee one knowing that I could not dig up her plants and replace them with the blooms that should be!!

That's all Folks

Well its been along hard winter, spring and aye start to the summer! The wee one and I have enjoyed sharing some of our adventures with you over the last four or five months and indeed we have been blown away by the number of folk reading our wee stories.
The ASBO gardener aka papa has found himself under close scrutiny and the law enforcer aka the wife has shown us what all women know already, they rule the roast!!
The eighteen year old aka the athlete aka my son is looking at pastures new, not only in this country but much further afield in an attempt to realise his ambitions as a player, coach and eventually a teacher.
Master chief aka the daughter is pushing forward on several fronts to make life enjoyable and rewarding, although we nervously await that call that means she has worked out how to turn on the new cooker!!
Hurricane Billy is still a force to be reckoned with where ever he goes and indeed is still sneaking under the radar to spring one or two surprises!
The wee one is gearing up for the start of her nursery year and therefore her first wee steps into the world of education that will be a big part of her life for the next fifteen or so years.
Me...... well I am looking forward to a busy summer with the wee one before she joins the education treadmill, and thereafter it will be time to look for a wee job that fits around the wee ones schooling.

As you will have worked out by this point there is a sad feeling of goodbyes in the air!!!
Now I am never one for saying goodbye as I always use the term- see you later, later in my way can mean that night, next week or at sometime in the future when fate brings us back together!
So I hope you all have a good summer, I hope your wee ones no matter how big or small bring you joy and I hope you have had some fun reading this blog, a wee snap shot of life at home as a granddad.
We might be back, who knows, it might be a new topic, who knows, what I can say with some degree of certainty is I will see you later.
Grandad

Sticky Tape And DIY

The wee one has the answer to anything that is broken or in need of mending around the house. The solution to every problem that arises and every DIY project that is outstanding....aye there are many sadly!
The wee one sees the problem and in a flash she is there with the solution, she carefully sizes up what is needed and then......gets the sellotape out the drawer!!

So far this method has been used on everything from dollies to crayons that have been in her desk for months, up until now they were in pieces of two and three, now they are whole again thanks to the wee one and her amazing find of the humble sticky tape. The dolly that was in sick bay, with a missing limb, is now back in the fold sitting in the high chair again thanks to the wee one and sticky tape!
The discovery of this simple wonderful stuff knows no bounds as she further discovered insulating tape, which joy of joys was even sticker than the stuff she has currently been relying on to fix all of life's little problems.

The other day the law enforcer aka the wife tried to remove an item of clothing from our built in wardrobe, a wardrobe that is bulging at the seams, a wardrobe that has needed some tlc for a large number of months, a wardrobe that is now on the list of DIY jobs- a list that is ever growing- because as she struggled, aye fought to release a dress from its custody, the hanging rail gave up its fight to hold the ever growing number of clothes, clothes that the law enforcer aka the wife always seems to have had for years as nothing is ever new, even on the first time it is seen by the household or public!
So faced with the job of restoring the rail to its job and in turn returning my bedroom to a place where you could actually sleep not just admire a superstore of clothes,

I put my best DIY foot forward.... got the measuring tape out, charged the drill, scratched my head several times before doing what all experienced builders and DIY enthusiasts do......put the kettle on and have a good think about the job!
The wee one joined me on my break, I mean my planning session, and was curiously inspecting all the tools I had amassed in preparation of the job and was further confused by my constant shallow but obviously long sighs.
The wee one disappeared and came back with solution in hand...aye good old sellotape!

This got me to thinking how wonderful life would be if we could all see things as simply as the wee one, if we could fix anything that was broken using a simple roll of tape. Overnight all men would become DIY hero's in their households. No toy would ever remain broken to the joy of all our wee ones!
Taking it too far I had a nice wee day dream about the humble sticky tape fixing all of life's problems, for example when the ASBO gardener chops down the wrong tree...just stick it back together, problem solved!!!!

Aye as I said I took it too far, but perhaps there is a message in there somewhere, and just maybe that message is that we over complicate things when as the wee one shows us simple is best!!

Not Average Just Human

Now before anyone points out the obvious, I know you should always be careful when discussing charts that are produced by the establishment when looking at your wee ones development, The charts themselves should come with a full blown health warning!

However I must confess that I occasionally look them up just to see if I am getting things right or drastically wrong!
The wee one has always been classed as a unique individual as far as I am concerned and although I check the charts and the guidelines I treat them normally as just that, guidelines, not accurate measurements that must be followed or else!
The wee one like all wee ones does certain things that are way ahead of her time and of course the opposite applies on other issues and tasks where she is a wee bit behind. This is something that has never phased me as all children do things at their own pace, if they were all the same they would be....well robots!
So as I looked down the height and weight chart it was with no real concern until I released that for one thing she was above average height, no problem there, however her weight was well below average and given that she was taller than the average weight chart was describing did give me a moment where more research would be required!

Now many of you reading this are now thinking give the wee one more on her plate, problem solved.
The answer is much simpler though and the research was just about some reassurance on my part, the word average is the key, I had fallen into the trap of ignoring the health warning that should come with all medical charts that use the word. No child is average even if they match the chart inch by inch, pound by pound. The average child, should you ever meet one, would be whisked off to a laboratory somewhere for extensive testing to see if it was indeed real.
The lesson should have been staring me in the face as an adult, that the word average applies to in no aspect of my life, from weight, height or the fact that I am a stay at home granddad.

Although we are all 'Jock Tamsons Bairns' we are all different, thank goodness because life would be rather boring if not.
As if to back up my argument about charts and averages not applying, and that we are all unique, with peoples eyes telling them a different story to the person standing beside them about what they see in a person, you know what I mean, one persons fat is another's well built or solid. The other day the law enforcer aka the wife and I went to the petrol station to fill up both cars, the law enforcer went into pay and the attendant said to her how nice it was of her to pay for her sons petrol!!

Now not only did I get a good laugh out of this and indeed still am, I relised that everyone has their own take on what they see, although this lady showed remarkably good taste and is an excellent judge of looks it has to be put into perspective, if we were all average and all looked the same, what would the conversation have been about in the petrol station and not only that the chance to smile and have some serious fun at the expense of the law enforcer aka the wife would have been lost!
So forget charts and averages, forget targets and goals for our wee people, just remember happiness, safety and love as they are the real measurements for any wee one to progress and become a non average adult in a non average world!